April 2014 – Meet Change Compassionately

I guess you have heard the saying that change is one of the few constants in life. It is bound to happen, in small or large ways.  It is often uncomfortable, even if it is positive change. As I move into a major life transition myself, I consider the way in which we meet change and transition. I would like to share some thoughts on it in the hope of contributing to you as I live through it yet again.
Some of the challenges that present during times of major transition include: 
  • gaining clarity
  • managing overwhelm
  • resistance that immobilizes action
  • grief and loss
  • fear of the unknown
  • focusing excitement
A process to fully meet the challenges with more presence and authenticity:
Take time to notice and allow emotions. Sometimes we are so caught up in the thinking and planning and taking care of business that we don’t even realize that we have feelings going on. One way of noticing is through being aware of body sensations. Stop and notice any tight areas and just sit still and allow the sensations to be there. If you do this with compassion and care, you may notice some emotions arise.
When you become aware of the emotion, again, allow it gently. Become curious about what values or needs are underneath the feeling. You can then appreciate and either celebrate or mourn that beautiful quality of life that you value. Giving lots of room for this often brings about an experience of relief, more spaciousness, and peace.
Relax in this place of more space and peace. Sometimes insight and understanding come next in a very natural, organic way. Ideas for action will come from this space as well. I find that insight and action coming from here is much more congruent and grounded and leads me to effective action without resistance.
This simple process can help you meet any of the above listed challenges in facing change and transition.
Ways we can communicate with others to make life easier and more wonderful in the process include:
In the midst of the chaos of transition when we lose track of ourselves, it is hard to maintain connection and clarity with others. We may forget to clarify what is going on, things slip through the cracks in our communications and commitments, and we may think we have to to it all alone.
  • Try some daily quiet time. Even five minutes of just sitting quietly can help. Simply breathe and relax.
  • You could let people know that you are in transition and that some things may be difficult for you during this period.
  • When miscommunications happen, take a few minutes to re-connect with people by sharing your authentic feelings and the values you were holding in the situation.
  • Give yourself and others empathy and understanding.
  • Ask friends and family for particular kinds of support and help. They often want to be of help but don’t know exactly what to do. Make a list of things others could do and when someone offers, you can request something specific.
My youngest daughter is graduating from high school this May and I plan to move to the Denver Metro area in June/July. It is a grand time of celebrating accomplishments and a beautiful period of life, as well as a time of letting go, mourning, and finding the path of creating new life adventures. The support of the life skills and tools of Compassionate Communication continues to be a huge gift for which I am deeply grateful.
I invite you to learn more about living and communicating with authenticity and compassion through engaging in the learning opportunities at CommunicationWorks.